In a random series of events that demonstrated the occasional value of forgetfulness, I had an insightful and engaging conversation today with the pilot that flew our plane from Portland back to Spokane.
Unused to having a piece of carry-on luggage, I walked past the ala carte cart on the way into the terminal at PDX, without my bag. Once inside, J asked, "Where's your carry on?" Yikes! I usually only have a purse and laptop bag; a long stop-over in San Francisco with my generous aunt - "Take these sweaters! And boots! And here's a suitcase for it all!"- disrupted my normal travel flow, allowing me to zone out and walk right by my new carry-on.
I went back out onto the concourse - this was a small plane with tarmac deplaning- and there it was, all alone on the cart. As I pulled it down, the pilot exited the plane and we ended up walking back inside together.
As we were walking in step together, I started a conversation by thanking him for the flight. "It was a wonderful flight; thanks again," I said, or something along those lines.
He replied with an apology. "I'm sorry it was a little bumpy." (It wasn't. Pilots must be sensitive about these things). He continued, "The autopilot wasn't working (!!) so we weren't able to climb up to 35,000 feet like we normally do. We had to keep it lower at 20,000 feet."
I tried processing this information as quickly as possible and then try not to say something in reply that was stupid-sounding. I came out with a series of stuttered replies, "So then, okay, so, the auto pilot, it was off, that means then... that means you were flying, by your instruments?" I ended with a question at the end which I didn't want but was battling my complete and utter lack of pilot and plane knowledge with the desire not to sound stupid.
"No you're right," he replied graciously. "And amazingly, yes, we were asleep."
I thought this was incredibly hilarious and laughed quite hard. Asleep! Because the autopilot wasn't working! A pilot with humor!
So I continued, "I thought the flight was fantastic. I didn't feel anything at all and I really meant it when I said thank you." Now warming to the conversation with someone that liked to poke fun at themselves, I expanded and said, "Really, anyone that has a problem with a flight like that just shouldn't be flying."
On this, he smiled and shook his head. "Oh, you would not believe it, really. You would not believe what people get picky about. Thankfully this was an Alaska flight. (It was a SkyWest plane). If this had been a United flight, we would have had all kinds of complaints. You wouldn't believe what United customers are like."
"Seriously!?" I said, sort of shocked.
"Really," he replied.
By now, we were inside the concourse and past our gate, crowds starting to emerge. As our ways were obviously parting, I said, "Have you heard of Louie CK? He's a comedian?"
"No, no I haven't," he replied.
"Well," I began, "He has this great comedy routine based around this idea that we have lost all perspective on what is truly amazing in life, and that every time we sit down in a plane, instead of nitpicking and complaining, we should be saying, "Ohmygosh!! I am about to partake in the miracle of human flight! I'm going to be... flying! It’s amazing! I'm sitting…in a chair…in the sky!”
He actually thought this was quite funny and he definitely got the joke. As we finally parted ways and I found John, I said thanks again and wished him a good afternoon.
So I guess in closing, a couple thoughts. 1. United Airlines customers: Chill out. 2. Pilots do more than fly planes. 3. I am grateful for the fact that air travel is the safest form of travel still in the US (When did you hear of a major airline crash in the US? A car crash? See...) 4. Louie CK, thanks for the laughs. Wish I could post a link to the video but the original clip w/ Conan has been taken down by NBC.
Cheers!
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